A Day Without Spectacles

Thursday, July 2, 08:43,

After travelling for around 1 hours 25 minutes I had reached the place where I had to spend the next 8 hours. It was another routine affair of travelling the same distance and resuming my project work. After deboarding from the bus, I took a walk from the bus stand in the way of public transit and reach the center within 15 minutes of time. I decided to go to cafeteria & take something to eat. As it was slightly hot outside, I ended up taking a cold coffee to drink. 😛

With sipping the freeze coffee that tasted great, I reach the upper floor using the staircases. I occupied my workstation and kept my belongings at the place. I took the water bottle out from my bag, and then searched for the specs box that I couldn’t find. After searching in all the zips of the bag I got to know that I have forgot to bring my specs. I stood up from the seat and told a close by colleague that I forgot my friend back home. 😛 In laugh she said, ‘What??’ I added, I forgot my glasses. 😦 😥 Calmly she said, not a problem it happens at times. And with that I spent my half of the Thursday without any vision correctness. Normally, I don’t wear my glasses when I am travelling, it has been a habit. I always keep my specs within the box and place it in a specific spot of my bag. And on that very day it didn’t happened where it used to be. 😐

I am really not blind, – 2.25 prescription only. I worked in the similar environment I was working for over past 15 days. I was aware of the paths to travel on the floor.
From the past 5 years I am wearing glasses and it was second time this had happened. The last time it was okay because I was not doing anything that needed accurate sight. But this time it was about a lot, where did I put my keys? Is that a bug or just a dot? How do I know I’m not stepping on a nail?

The oddest part for me, though, was not being able to see anybody’s face as I walked around the floor. As I mentioned, I knew where I needed to go without having to pay attention to the markings. But when it came to people I would walk past and see them and their body language, but their face was a complete blur. Many questions emerged in my mind, are they looking at me? Are they smiling? Frowning? Are they talking to me??

As I previously stated, I don’t wear my glasses while travelling. An incident that occurred with me when travelling in a rapid metro. I was seated in front of a group of girls who all appeared to be friends. I was listening to music and feeling sleepy. 😛 When you’re not able to see clearly, you tend to look in a direction with strange looks and blinking eyes, and without any reason I was directed towards the group of the girls. One of the girl from the group waved her hands in front of me and indicated in a questioning way! I signed her to wait and I put my glasses on, she started laughing and said I thought you were gazing at me but you’re myopic. 😀 😛

Having no idea was really weird. I knew that I was looking at them, but could not tell if they were looking back (I assume I freaked a few people out by staring). It made me feel completely disconnected. 😛

If you wear glasses, perhaps try it for few hours. 😉

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A Gathering

Saturday, 19:07

A scarlet colored sun is about to set and here I am in a park close by the swimming pool center. My friend called me and told that few of his friends are here today and he wants a gathering. My friend and the guys I was told about were already seated at the place and were enjoying themselves, I also joined them. 🙂

After few talks and rewind of memories, a guy came up with some questions. 😉 I heard from my friend that this guy is a good observant. The questions were about sharing your thoughts. It sounded extremely great activity.

And he started, 😉

First question came up for a guy who’s exceptionally funny. 😀 He makes everyone laugh. He was asked, ‘What is the one thing you’re trying extremely hard to accept?’ 😉 He looked at the observant and said, ‘at the moment.. you!!’ 😀 Everyone chuckle and then he answered ‘Hard to accept that life is too short not to have the perfect coffee and haircut you want.’ 😀

The next question to a other person, ‘If you want to write a note for yourself, what it would be?’ Uncommonly he replied, ‘at 17 or 21, nobody is worth stressing over. Leave people behind, move on. It is time to find yourself, the world is yours and.. life goes on.’ This was marvelous thought to make a note of. 🙂

It was my turn now. 😛 I was asked, ‘A type of mistake which you would never want to do?’ I took a couple of seconds and said, ‘I could never cheat on anyone. It’s a wrong doing I couldn’t live with. Knowing that you destroy someone’s trust is bad, but destroying someone’s perspective on love is far too worse.’ 🙂

Another question was thrown to the funny guy, ‘If you want to gift a book to your friend sitting next to you. What will be the book named?’ He laughed at the question first. 😀 He knows the person next to him very well. He shortly replied, ‘:D How to start a conversation to make friends. Very much he is in need of this.’ 😀

The last question was asked to my friend who was just listening to everyone’s thoughts.
The question to him was, ‘Tell one of the worst part of not being friends with someone anymore?’.
All of a sudden the smile was lost. 😐 I was aware of the condition he was in the recent past. He didn’t looked at anyone and it appeared that he was dragged back in memories. He answered, ‘One of the worst part is you cannot talk to them. You cannot tell them all the little things you used to share with them. You cannot tell them as they are no longer part of your life. It is sad because you used to tell them everything but now you can’t and it is weird.’ 😦

To ease out the serious faces around, he brought back the smile on his face and pretended that everything is all right. The other guys also got relieved after seeing the smile back on his face. How easily he managed to convince his mates who were unaware of his state. It is explainable that people smile to hide pain, sometimes people laugh to hide the tears.

A smile can hide so much pain. 😐

Oh… Great

Friday, 19:24

Here, I am standing next to my friend and in front of a girl who this guy likes a lot.

Today, near this fast food corner he has met her after a long time, with a question.. “How are you? and what you doing here? 🙂 “. She replies with a smile on her face, “I’m awesome & just waiting for a friend. How about you?”. With a happiness in his body language, he said “I’m fine, as always! Just here with my friend to get something to eat. 🙂 How about your friend, is the person from your college or school? “. With a shy smile she says, “Actually, He is my school friend & I am meeting him after a long time.” For a second or two he hasn’t said anything, looks down and then again looking at her, says, “School friends are always specially, he must be your good friend.” With an extremely thoughtful smile as if she remembered someone, she speaks, “Yes, he is my best friend & I like him a lot. ❤ ” Suddenly her phone rang and after 5 seconds of conversation on phone she said, “time for me to go, will see you next time. Bye!! ” In a low voice he was only able to say, “Oh… Great, take care, Bye! 😐 ” She turned and started walking away.

As we started the long walk back, he slows down and turns back to see her getting lost in the crowd. In a very less of a time she was out of the picture of our eyes. I put my right hand on his shoulder and without a word being said he turned and started walking.

Throughout their talks, I was a person who was only listening to both of them. I knew about her as this guy has talked a lot about her in past few years. As we were walking back, we did not exchanged a word with each other. He was just moving slowly with some deep breaths and looking into the sky for a while. I know he was not okay.

One thing that I acknowledge was the last words he said that evening, “Oh..Great!”
This “Oh” sounded as if his heart has ripped into millions of pieces. He was not able to speak after that. It appeared as if his throat has choked and only thing he was able to do is, breathe. 😐

Short Story

Here’s a short story,

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face she inquired, “How heavy is this glass of water?” The answer called out ranged from 8 oz to 20 oz. She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, its not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”
She continued, “The stress and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them for a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.” Always remember to put the glass down.

Don’t play a war in your mind, just let it go. 😉

How are you??

Hey, How are you??” What will you reply to this innocent question? Your answer will be, I am Fine! or simply, I’m ok! or will you really come out with the real actual answer.

We always give the same reply “I’m Fine” because I think it’s a heavy question with a rote answer. The reply is actually a lie. If  you ask me the same question “How are you?” my reply will be “Fine“. Even on the days I am not Fine. On the days when the pain is unbearable. On days when I ask questions like “what if”. On days I am not feeling good enough.

Sometimes when someone who is close to you asks the same question, you try not to respond in the usual fashion, but something inside you holds it back. In actual, we hide our current feelings with words which sounds as if we are the most happiest person. And I also feel like its hard to open up when you are uncomfortable with something which is not letting the actual feelings to flow.

There are two strong reason why we give the default response to the question.

One reason is because fine has become the quick generic response to the question, “How are you today?”  But how are you really doing?  Are you truly “all right” as the definition of fine implies?

It has become a tag line for our lives “I’m fine”.  For most people, when someone asks them how they are, they don’t give it much thought and simply reply with the fastest, easiest answer.  This is what they are also doing in their lives as well.

The other reason we may be using those words is to hide how we are truly feeling. When we say, “I’m fine” we may not want to burden the other person or we may just not want to deal with the feelings ourselves.

If you are not wanting to deal with your own emotions, it’s time to stop being a victim. It’s time to stop hiding in the sand. The sooner you step into what you are truly feeling, the faster you can step out of those feelings! I know its not a easy thing to do.

It’s time to shake it up! Stop saying you are fine, now come up with what you’re really feeling.